It gets even more insane! California’s clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone else’s! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.
Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states can’t set their own environmental guidelines! “Fuck you!” says California, “we remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isn’t a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!”
“But you’re making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!” they whine.
“Fuck you!” California shouts. “And while we’re at it, we don’t give a shit what you say, Mister President, we’re gonna open our damn states when we’re good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, we’ve decided to legalize weed!”
“But the Federal Government says it’s illegal!” shouts the other states.
“Fuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!”
“Now, hang on!” shouts the Federal government. “You can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!”
“FINE!” shouts California. “Hey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!”
“How the fuck is that supposed to work!?”
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!”
“By the way, if you’re gay married elsewhere, we won’t recognize it,” mutters Texas.
“OH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!”
And so it goes and so it goes…
